Day 712; Since my life, well, changed.

I can not believe it has been a year and a 11 months since I decided to better my life.  September of 2011 was a huge month for me.  I decided to go back to college to pursue my dreams of one day becoming an architect.  I started writing an article for a website called Examiner, where I would write about local, family oriented things.  I started my first round of Insanity and started living a healthier life style.  I started feeling so much more spiritual, and enjoyed my new found love for MY God.  I began baking my own bread and planted a few herbs on my tiny apartment porch.  We also welcomed a new friend to our family on September 25th, his name is Marley and he helped to make our lives a happier place.  We saved him, and he saved us, that's for sure.

Since doing all of the above and uplifting my spirit and making sure to not allow anymore negativity to enter my world, amazing things have happened.

When I say amazing, I mean....

AMAZING!!!!

For one, I got healthier than I had ever been in my entire life.  After trying since April of 2010, so almost a year and a half, we got pregnant in November of 2011.  By the grace of God, we had a beautifully stunning baby girl on August 21st 2012.  I made the Dean's List every semester through 2011-2012 and worked really hard in each class to maintain A's and B's.  We found and moved into our perfect family dream home, I had envisioned this home for months, and it was set at my feet like a gift.  Rafal has received numerous raises since then, and we are actually able to sustain a happy healthy and sometimes fun lifestyle. Dylan started kindergarten after a great year of VPK.  Life has flip turned upside down, that's for sure.

Today is 712 days since I posted Day 1, on September 30, 2011.  How crazy to me that it has almost been two years since I started documenting this crazy journey.  The worst part is, it has been since January 8th, 2013 since I last posted anything on my blog, and I have missed it terribly.  That's 246 days since I last felt I had the time to sit down and have some me "blogging" time.  That is NOT ok.  I am upset with myself.  If I can't find 30 minutes a few times a week to blog about anything, then I need to manage my time a little better, because I want to thank my blogging for initially getting me on this healthier path in life.

SO as of today, September 11, 2013, I pledge to find more time, for ME.

I hope you guys will pick back up and follow along as I catch you up on my journey!  Nothing has changed much, the blessings are abundant and just keep flowing in.

248 Days [35 Weeks 3 Days]

Nine Months has really come already?!

I can't believe our beautiful

Maya Riley

will be here in just days.

Nesting has kicked in full swing, the nursery is almost completed, as in totally finished!  Only things left I want in there before she arrives is to put up the chair rail around the room, and hang up some dark chocolate brown curtains over the windows to block out the sun as well as get a deep purple area rug.  That is all though and Maya's gorgeous nursery will be finished!!

Dylan's room looks spectacular too!  I am very proud of my work.  Dylan needs some curtains too, that will fit his camping theme, but as of right now, his bamboo shades look and work just fine so those curtains aren't being rushed as much as Maya's.

The house is spotless, laundry is done, now I need to take out the trash....

Maya is roughly 5.5 pounds now and almost 19" long!  She is one big baby!  Considering she was just an egg and a sperm not that many months ago, this whole process is mind boggling even for someone who took so many medical courses.

I am extremely uncomfortable, I can't sit up, I can't lay down, I can't recline or lean or do anything to help with my comfort level at all at this point.  I am just destined to be miserable until she makes her debut!  I keep reading about my pregnancy on different websites and it explains how "being nervous" is completely normal.  BUT...

the thing is....

I am not nervous, not one bit.  I don't know if it is because I have been there done that

or just because I am giving it to God to handle.  I know that my Lord wouldn't give me pain

that I couldn't handle, I mean it's called labor for a reason right?  It isn't going to be easy, but

its a natural pain, one that won't kill you, but truly make you stronger.

Don't get me wrong, I fully intend to take advantages of medical science and the drugs they can offer to alleviate the pain caused during the intense contractions.  But, still, no nerves are being stressed at this point.  Which I honestly think is best for mommy and baby.

So many women stress, and over plan for the day that when the day comes and they realize how truly out of their control it all is, they panic, and that only causes problems.  I had the best, easiest labor ever with Dylan.  My sister can tell you the horror story of how my ONLY complaint throughout the labor was that the blood pressure cuff was too tight.  That is not a joke.

I pushed for what, 10 minutes?  If that....

They said let's do some practice pushes before the doctor gets here, and within two pushes they started yelling at me to STOP the practice pushes and wait until the doctor came because Dylan was already crowning!  He wanted to be out, and mommy was on a mission to not have a cone-head baby and I wanted him out fast too!

I remember being so nervous about the infamous "pooping on the table" thing every woman dreads.  I mean, I don't fart or poop or talk about those two things in front of Rafal.  It is gross and not lady like at all.  So it is very common for women to dread this possible side effect of labor.  BUT truth be told, when you start pushing your beautiful wonder of God out, the last thing on your mind is...

"please don't let me push a little too hard and poop a little!"

In fact, all you are thinking about is:

"GET THIS CHILD OUT OF MEEEEEE!!!!!"

And then, there he was.  I may have pooped?  Who knows!  What I do know, is that it didn't matter.  When they put him on my chest, and I looked at him and then up at Rafal and saw the tears welling up in his eyes, nothing else on Earth mattered anymore.  I was so in love.  With Dylan, with Rafal, with life.

And to think, God has blessed us with yet another amazing miracle...

Thank you God for finding us fit parents to give us two of your most amazing angels to watch over and care for her on Earth <3

We will not disappoint you!

157 Days [22 Weeks 3 Days]

You know when you search and look and hope and pray for something your whole life, only to be in complete and utter denial once you get it?  That is where I am right now, where I am every day throughout this whole pregnancy.  God has graced me with something so miraculous, so wonderful and I am still without words to describe its awesomeness.  Seriously.  Rafal and I had been trying since Christmas of 2009 to give Dylan a baby brother or baby sister.  After the first six months I chalked it up to my birth control screwing up my system, at the first year I just blamed it on some stresses with massage school.  When October of 2011 came around I cried a lot, and finally "Gave it to God" and told Him I understood we were not meant to have any more babies in this life and I would stop being so sad about it.  I figured maybe my calling was adoption, which I have always longed to do either way.  Some of my readers may know what its like to think "Oh my gosh! Maybe this is the month!" and spend hundreds of dollars on pregnancy tests just to end up crying again because the dreaded period started again.  I just wanted another baby so bad.  November I started talking with my close friend Veronica about all the PROS of not having another baby, and it helped a lot.  I enrolled in school full time and got excited about a possible internship in the spring.  I talked about us being able to travel this summer to Poland and Europe!  It started to sound fun just having Dylan as an only child.  Then on a night surrounded by God himself we conceived my precious baby girl.  In fact, we know the exact day that it happened, and the best part is I blogged about it on here. 

[Day 59]

*If you want to look it up, its not graphic at all, thats not how I roll*

Yesterday couldn't have been a more perfect day.  I think that every day should be just as lovely.  Kissing in parking lots is romantic, but kissing barefoot in your own kitchen with Christmas music playing and the smell of cookies filling the air is priceless.  I am so blessed.

That is the last paragraph of the entry... Yesterday couldn't have been a more perfect day <3 God gave us Baby Maya in those moments as I typed that post.  I feel so blessed to have written about it and have it to show her one day, how she was made in true love and happiness.  There was no hope left in me, I was not thinking about it at all.  It just happened.

I remember I was late, and thought to myself, only one day late, it'll start tomorrow.  Then sure enough my cramps started and I was like yep, told ya so.  When I woke up the next day and still no sign of my "dear friend" [haha] I decided to pee on a stick, only because I had three left from my last hopeful experience and I just wanted to get rid of them.  So I peed and we left for the day to do some storage auctions.  I never even looked at it, just left.  That's how you know you've really given up.

We were out all day and I kept having to pee, I even said to Rafal, what the heck was in that coffee we had, I never have to pee and I have had to pee all day today!  That should've been my first clue.  When we got home I glanced at it before throwing it in the trash and I saw a faint line, and I thought

Noooooo.

So I took another one and sat there and watched it.

I watched it turn to one line, and then to the other line.

Still in denial, I took that third test.

I squealed when it TOO was positive.

I had a million thoughts in my mind in that instant.  I couldn't do anything but run out to Rafal.  I wish he would've been holding a camera to get my expression on record [haha] I walked out in to the livingroom holding a test in my hand behind my back and just stood in front of him smiling at him.  He said "What is it?" and I just handed it to him and he said "Whats this?" 

...silence...

"Wait. Baby, what is THIS?!?"

and he started smiling so big.

We hugged and hugged and hugged Dylan too, and even though he didn't know why at the time I had to include him in our happiness.  It was perfect.  Everything was perfect.

Everything is perfect.

Everyday is perfect.

Even when it's not, it still really, truly is.

Thank you God for your amazing blessings.  I thank you every day.  

<3

Day 91 [Week 8] {New Years Eve 2011}

Let us recap our chaotic year of 2011...

January 2011, we had a few *deaths* in our neighborhood and thought it best if we moved to keep Dylan and I out of that situation.  We started searching for a new home. My job at Bay West was making me crazy with an unruly office manager and ungrateful coworkers so I quit my job to save my sanity.  We started being beach bums early this year, and were spending every weekend and days off at the beach enjoying the sun and the sand a few drinks too!
February 2011, we were able to look at a few properties that we liked and hoped that by talking to our current landlord we would be able to get out of our lease.  Once off the lease we had to start cleaning and preparing the home for new tenants.  By the end of the month we had signed a lease on a property owned by an asshole of a polish man named RICHARD SIKORSKI.  I also started a new job at another crummy chiropractic office, turns out they are all ungrateful to their massage therapists.
March 2011, Dylan turned 3!!! We made amazing friends in our new next door neighbors and Rafal was working full time on a home renovation.  We bought baby chicks and a 4-Wheeler.
April 2011, Rafal celebrated his birthday and the very next day our home we were renting flooded with sewage and we were then homeless for a week and a half..
May 2011, An angel by the name of Michelle allowed our family to rent her empty one bedroom beach condo from them for as long as we needed and we moved to Indian Rocks Beach and enjoyed the "good life" for as long as we could.
June 2011, Rafal was offered a job he couldn't refuse which meant we needed to move closer to Clearwater, a 1.5hr commute was just too much!  We signed a lease at an apartment complex in Palm Harbor.
July 2011, I started discussing my school options and wanting to go back to college and Rafal was working 50+ hour weeks!
August 2011, I celebrated my golden birthday, with what still to this day I am calling my best birthday ever!  We spent a week on Anna Maria Island with my sister and her two boys and it was magical!
September 2011, we added a new member to our family, a four legged furry friend we call Marley.
October 2011, Dylan dressed up like spiderman for Halloween and mommy and daddy got to go out and dress up in our costumes as our FIRST Halloween spent together in 3 years!
November 2011, Uncle Ski & Momo had birthdays this month as well as a wonderful Thanksgiving too! Thanksgiving was spent with our dearest friends and family, Veronica and Darryl and their family at their beautiful home! 
December 2011, we visited Chattanooga, TN for a wonderful long weekend with Dominique and her boys at the Choo Choo Train Hotel!  And we found out we are expecting a NEW member of our family in August of 2012!!!

What a wonderfully CRAZY year we have had!! We moved not once, not twice, but THREE times!  We had to find new homes for our pets that we love so much, but gained another 6-7months later.  We have grown in our relationships and love like we never thought possible.  AND we are growing our family by one more.

Rafal & I both believe 2012 will be our best year yet....

Thank you God for your daily blessings in our lives, we are ever so thankful for your wisdom, and guidance!

Day 74 [Week 5 Day 1]

Can't believe there is a baby in my belly.... Well at this point still a little ball of cells that are quickly forming IN TO said baby... Wow.  SO glad I took all those medical science classes in Massage School, I feel so smart about what is happening with and to my body!  Amazing miracles are happening as I type!

So we have decided to tell everyone on Thursday night in Tennessee, I bought Dylan a book called "I am a BIG Brother!" And I am going to wrap it up and have him "open" it with the family when every one is opening presents!  Then because my sister will be there, I am for certain he will take it either straight to her OR my mom to read it to him... and then let the excitement begin!!  I am so excited and nervous and happy and and and... wow, flood of emotions, I will probably cry!

I would like to take a trip down memory lane, and my pregnancy with Dylan... I had a pregnancy journal that I wrote in for him throughout the whole 9 months, but somewhere in the past 5years I lost it... Right after I gave birth I wasn't ever able to find it again.  SO I will try to remember a little bit about it.

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant, August 15th 2007.

I took a pee test at home and when it was positive I sat on our bedroom floor and cried while Rafal held me.  I immediately called and scheduled an appointment that day to go into Planned Parenthood.  Then I called my childhood friend Laura Martis, to confide my secret... I was in denial the whole way to the doctors.  And once I got there it really hit home.  I pee'd on another stick and yep, I was pregnant.  I was told there that I was 5 weeks along.  I called my mom crying and told her, and she too began to cry with me, and told me it was going to be OK and that she loved me so much.  She was going to call and tell my dad quick and then call me back.  That night they both came over with big hugs and lots of love telling me that every thing was going to turn out fine!

Two weeks before....

I was very ill, throwing up daily and just yuckie all around.  So Rafal took me to the Walk-In Clinic and they told me they thought I had strep-throat and that it was going around and they immediately put me on meds.  After I found out I was pregnant I was told we would have to wait until I was 8 weeks before a real OBGYN doctor would see us, so we went back to the same Walk-In Clinic to let them know and see if I really was sick or not.  Sure enough they looked at my paper work and said, "Oh these are all pregnancy symptoms! You probably weren't sick at all!!"

My Pregnancy with Dylan...

...was full of many up's and many down's, but I only want to talk about and remember the good parts today!  I remember KNOWING with out a doubt that my little pea pod was a boy from the moment we saw the two pink lines.  Rafal knew too, we just knew.  We were so excited, and very very nervous too.  I was sick every day, all day long until I was about 6months.  I actually lost about 10pounds in my first 6months due to lack of appetite.  I didn't start craving any thing that I can remember until that 6th month and ALL I wanted was foot long philly cheese steaks, all day, every day!!  As my pregnancy progressed we had about 4 false alarms, and I hear that is normal in a first pregnancy, I had no idea what anything was going to feel like.  BUT I will never forget the night I started to bleed, in January of 2008.  I went to pee and blood was every where! I was sure I had killed my baby, sounds awful I know, but that was the only thought in my head, oh my God, what did I do wrong?? How did I kill my beautiful baby?!  I was MORTIFIED! I called my mother hysterical, and she was in Tampa, about 45minutes away.  Rafal wasn't answering his phone and was no where to be found, so I called my best friend Holly.  Then it was a race against the clock to see who would get to me first Holly or my mom.  I honestly can't remember who picked me up, or even going to the hospital... All I remember next is being in the ER with a GIANT ultrasound wand INSIDE of me and then seeing his little body moving fine, his heart beat was fine, and everything was just perfect!  They told me that bleeding can be common throughout the whole pregnancy and not to worry.  I couldn't believe it, Thank you GOD!!!  Rafal showed up just at the end, and was able to see Dylan on the big screen too, it was amazing.  Then on March 14th he made his way into the world.  I only had to push about 3 times, and has a really easy and simple labor and delivery.  My sister was able to come to town to be in the room with me, and she was so mad that I had such an easy time!  :)  I believe I was just born to make babies! haha

So here I am, blogging about THIS pregnancy.  I am already craving things and thankfully it is all healthy... Strawberries, Grapes, Cantaloupe, Bagels and Yogurt!  Last night I had yummy spinach alfredo pizza, oh man was it good!  Bad news is, I am already suffering from getting sick at thoughts or sight of certain foods... in fact, all meats, ugh, I am gagging just typing that.  Walking through Publix last night, woooo that was interesting.  But, I made it through just fine and dandy, thankfully!

Now I am going to go fix Dylan and I a bagel with strawberry cream cheese and some yummy grapes!

We really believe we are having a girl, just like we knew Dylan was a boy... We both really like the name Sopheya, which means "wisdom".  Perfect!  We both see her being a beautiful blonde baby :)  How exciting!

Sopheya Alicia

Day 59

I can't believe it has been 11 days since I last found the time to write, and technically, I don't have time to write right now even, but I want to remember yesterday forever... So I am going to blog about it!

In fact, lets just start at Thanksgiving, because that too was a wonderful day.  It was filled with lots and lots of good friends and tons of delicious food!  We slept in that day and started with a cute little Dylan waking us up asking us what today was. We then went on to explain how today was Thanksgiving!  I had been teaching him all about it since Halloween and now the day of eating with friends and family and giving thanks was finally here.  We started the morning with coffee and Christmas music, followed by lots and lots of dancing!  Showers were taken and clothes were put on and it was time to fix the salad and head to Veronica & Darryl's wonderful home.  On the way to their home I had Rafal stop at the store so that I could get her a bouquet of rose's to thank her for her lovely hospitality, and to my surprise she absolutely loved them!  If I knew that by spending a few extra dollars a week I could make someone as happy as I felt she had become, well, I would buy everyone flowers all of the time!  Her smile was priceless, I am so blessed shes my fairy best friend!  The whole day was filled with wonderful people and even more smiling faces.

 Above is a lovely family picture, oh and Dylan!  He is part of their family by default, you want Sara and Rafal? Well that comes with a little side of Dylan.. [hehe] From left to right up there is Caleb, Maria, Darryl, Dylan, Veronica, and Jacob.  Veronica's two boys are growing up so fast, they have only been apart of our lives since about Spring 2010, and even since then they have grown up!

 Dylan found a bunch or oranges in the ground under the orange tree in their front yard, and he was loving it!  They were balls to play with from God, not the store.  The men folk kept throwing them across the street, see the dumpster in the background?  Rafal only made one, but tried at least 20 times! [haha]

Darryl and his bunny fingers!  He is so silly!  These are my best friends, seriously.  I love Rafal, Darryl and Veronica so much for being such a happy part of my life, I can't imagine where I would be today, had I never met them.

So we spent most of the day at Veronica's beautiful home, which she had festively decorated to fit the Thanksgiving theme!  She had made beautiful creations from dollar tree finds, she is amazing!  There was so much food, and we all ate until we were stuffed.  Rafal, Dylan and I ran home to meet up with Dylan's Nana and Papa for about an hour.  They brought by the cookie ingredients, for the cookies I am making for my little brother Hank in the Navy <3  Dylan wanted to watch some footage from Christmas 2010, so we put that on while the Grandparents were here and that was lovely!  After Nana & Papa headed on their way we went back to Veronica's for dessert! Let's just say..

...it was delicious!

Yesterday, Friday, started with Rafal working, we were all so bummed that he had to be at work on the Friday after Thanksgiving.  Dylan and I didn't get much sleep the night before, so we slept in until about 11am.  Within minutes of waking up I got a message from Rafal saying he had 3 short bookshelves and did I want them or not.  Do I want them?? Of course I want them!!  So, I looked around the room, wondering where I could fit them and I realized something... I could make a built in behind our sofa along our red wall.  I prayed they would fit there and messaged Rafal back saying to bring them.  Then, I got to work on moving my computer desk and all my school stuff to my bedroom, to make room for the Christmas tree we get every year on Black Friday.

[Last year, we won't go in to too much detail, but let's just say... Rafal and I were having an "off" month, and weren't exactly getting along, so buying the tree last year didnt happen exactly as planned LOL]

So I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned some more.  Then "beep", my computer buzzed and I knew Rafal had sent me another message.  He said "I got you a table, but no chairs, its in crummy shape, but its a table!" and I knew instantly it was my dream table.  Boy, was I ever right!!  I dreamed of this table for months, just kept on visualizing, and here it is!  It is a fabulous drop-sides pedestal table!  The pedestal is a worn out white and the top is a beautiful honey wood!  It is more than I could've wished for!  When he got home I couldn't stop smiling!  I have a dining table!!! Not to mention, God listened to my prayers and those short book shelves?  Well they fit perfectly behind the couch along that wall, almost as though they were meant for that spot all along!  Our home is becoming so beautiful!  We are thrilled at the idea of eventually buying a home and moving all of this into it!  How fabulous that will be!

SO-

After Rafal got home, we decided to go get a Christmas tree!! So Dylan and I got dressed and we headed on our way.  But, we got side tracked at the most amazing thrift store we've ever been too.  Because on Black Friday, everything in their whole store was half off!  We got some amazing finds!!  Spent $38 and made out like bandits!  I even sucked it up and looked for bigger jean sizes... I don't feel like I look like I wear a size 9??? I am still so thin in the waste, but my thighs and butt just keep growing!  I blame Rafal on a weekly basis, he likes big booty women and before him, I never had a booty, its like how I manifest a table, he manifests a booty on his woman! Grr!  [haha]  Once we left the thrift store we were back on the road for  a  tree.  We stopped at a random tree tent and were blown away by the expensive prices! $72 for a 6" Douglas Fir?? Ok, thats great it was cut down yesterday, but $72, really?  No way!  We always get our trees for about $25 at Lowes!  So, off we went in search of our tree, next we stopped at Home Depot and found our lovely lovely tree.  She cost us $33, which was more than Rafal wanted to spend, but isn't she lovely?

This is my men cutting off the wrapping on the tree after they got it standing up perfectly straight, and yes that's Charlie Brown on the TV!!

Now that it is lit they started adding the ornaments, one at a time... which was funny.  Dylan had the whole bottom row decorated 4 ornaments deep!  We had to rearrange a little!

We really have to get a fancy tree skirt now, she's naked and you can see all her.. insides! [haha]  Dylan did such a great job putting on the ornaments.

What a wonderful moment for any mommy... watching her two favorite people in the whole world decorate her most favorite Christmas tree in the whole world.  As they decorated I cooked dinner and smiled the whole time.

And here she is, Christmas Tree 2011, isn't she lovely??  The most beautiful tree I have ever seen, seriously.  It is perfectly tall for our space and perfectly wide enough to fit in the small corner.  It is just magical.

After the tree was up and Dylan had a bath and went to bed, Rafal & I started baking cookies.  Last night was by far the most romantic and silly night I have ever had with Rafal.  I love him so much!  With our Justin Beiber Holiday Pandora station on in the background we got to mixing and pouring and and and... making a mess!  We slow danced and snuggled in our PJs in the kitchen while the first batch was in the oven.  My cheeks were hurting I was smiling so big.  We just held each other and kissed, and it was a perfect evening.  After about an hour of baking we put everything away, and I am finishing up the cookies this morning.  After baking we watched a lovely movie in bed and snuggled before finally falling asleep at about 2am.

Yesterday couldn't have been a more perfect day.  I think that every day should be just as lovely.  Kissing in parking lots is romantic, but kissing barefoot in your own kitchen with Christmas music playing and the smell of cookies filling the air is priceless.  I am so blessed.

Day 26

Today has been a most eventful day and we never had to leave the apartment.  Rafal had work today, a big day of two jobs which is always a plus... I worked out and did Day 8: Cardio Power & Resistance, it felt so good, but at the same time it was the first day since I started that half way through I started doubting myself.  I have to get rid of the doubt.

I am strong.  I am talented.  I am persistent.  I can do this.

I struggled through it, but finished and actually I feel like I did a LOT more this time than on Day 3 when I did the same workout.  The butt kicks were higher, the knee kicks were higher, but I still have not gotten the needed muscles for the traveling pushups.  Time will tell and the muscles will grow.  This is a truly neat program though, doing the same things days apart shows me how much it really is working.  Before Dylan (BD) I was pretty athletic not to mention a habit of mine was constantly sucking it, aka tightening my core.  I was constantly doing that, to the point where my doctor yelled at me when I was 5months pregnant.  The gyno said, you are going to hurt your son if you don't relax your stomach muscles.  It was so drilled in to my subconscious that I had no idea I was even doing it.  So it took some time for me to "let go" and stop holding on to that skinny me.  Here I am 3.5 years later, and I had forgotten how to suck in my core, seriously, I know this may sound silly especially to some one who hasn't given birth.  But truly, I think and I KNOW that those stomach muscles had lost their ability.  In the past week I have been able to revert into my ways of keeping my core tight and man oh man am I impressed.  It will probably take another week before its second nature again, but I notice it allllll the time now and then I tighten and feel great!  I can feel all of my muscles coming together and working hard to achieve a healthier new Sara :)

I wrote my memoirs today, about my car accident from 2003.  I am not sure if I want to post it online or not though.  I changed names and a few details but I am just not sure if it's something I am OK with sharing yet.  It was and still is an iffy situation in my heart.

Rafal and Rob are cleaning out the storage units right now, finishing up sweeping them out.  They should be home soon.

I baked bread today, 4 tiny little loaves so that Rafal can take one to work with him tomorrow and the nest day, if he doesn't eat them all tonight :)

My new phone came in the mail today at my mom's house, so I hope to go pick it up tomorrow.  Part of me truly enjoys not having a phone, no one can contact me! haha  The important people have my email and we correspond via GMail and that is good enough for me.  Not to mention Facebook :)

Tonight Dylan and I encountered a *spirit* of some kind.  We were both sitting at the computer talking about school when a little windup music box in the kitchen started playing its music.  It didn't play for 5 or 10 seconds but for an entire minute.  Dylan was saying "Daddy is that you?", but daddy was at work.  I felt like it was a grandma, maybe shes a grandmother to a family in our building and was just stopping through?  It was a nice pleasant cheery feeling that I got from the presence we both felt.  Odd at the same time though that she chose the music box that she did.  We have others throughout our home, but this one doesn't have a turn knob on the bottom, its missing, so we've never heard it play.  Dylan and I just smiled and I told him to say thank you to whoever it was for blessing us with the opportunity to listen to the music.  I am a crazy hippie I know!  :)

Day 22

I have a sister, and she is the most amazing, intelligent, funny, hardworking, gorgeous woman I know.  She can put a smile on anyone's face and I am blessed to call her MINE :)

I state this random fact, because to me, this is not random at all.  In fact, I am sitting here in the cold morning air smelling my coffee brewing wearing a really nice and warm deep blue sweater that my sister gave to me when I saw her this past August.  I love hand-me-downs, they are the best thing ever.  So sitting here wearing this sweater it brought back some nice smiles and memories of her last trip to Florida with her amazing boys.

Had to share my warm fuzzies of the AM!

Speaking of warm, its the first time this season I have turned the heat on... and it is stinky!! Dylan was running around hollering because of the smell.  He is such a goof ball.

Last night was a hardcore workout and we planned on getting up this AM and doing Day 4 Insanity but lets just say, when the alarm went off and I felt the cold air on my toes I snuggled up next to Rafal and didn't want to move!  Which isn't a good thing, but it was so warm next to him.  In fact we laid there for so long in the warmth that he was almost late to work!

I love the cool weather this time of year.  I can't believe Halloween is approaching so quickly and then it will be Thanksgiving before we know it!  Holy cow!

Quote of the day:
"Watch your thoughts, they become words.  Watch your words, they become actions.  Watch your actions, they become habits.  Watch your habits, they become character.  Watch your character, it becomes your destiny." -Frank Outlaw

Day 14

What if I were to tell you that I always knew I was destined for greatness?  What if I told you that ever since my brain can remember I have been telling people,

"I will be a millionaire one day, I just don't know when or how yet."

I have been saying that forever.  You know what else I have been saying since I can rememeber?

"I will be building homes for the homeless and underprivileged families in old rundown hotels one day."

Do you know me?  Are we friends?  If we are friends you know that I am pursuing a DEEP dream of becoming an Architect.  It is a deep seeded need that I am trying to fulfill.  The best part?

  I AM FULFILLING IT RIGHT NOW!

I don't know where, how, or even why I have felt this way my whole life but I have.  Watching this new series, Oprah's Lifeclass, has truly helped me to take those next steps forward.

When I was in 7th grade we had a speaker come to our school and Holly and I laughed for years about what the speaker had to say.  He was teaching us affirmations, and at the time we didn't even know what an affirmation was.  He was having us all stand up, a school auditorium full of us, and having us say out loud "I like myself".  Well Holly and I thought it was hysterical... at the time.  But through the years that phrase has stuck with me.  If there was a way to contact that young man who taught us that I would, and I would thank him.

I like myself.  I love myself.  I am a being worthy of love, and respect.  Abundance is on its way.  Life is good today, and everyday.  I love my life.

Affirmations are amazing, and I want to start teaching my son the awesomeness of it!