Today's blog should be about playing catch up, considering SO much has happened since my last post. Including, but not limited to, a few hospital visits, a few doctors appointments, an exciting family vacation, and some fun little Maya nursery changes.
-BUT-
Those, in fact, are not what we will be discussing tonight.
Tonight we will be talking about something else, something that has been on my mind lately, and something that was brought to my attention today.
My son, is growing up. He is no longer a toddler, he is actually now considered a child. In exactly one week he begin big-boy school, something I have mentally and physically been dreading for the past four years. VPK. I know it is something that he will love, something that he will truly benefit from, but at the same time...
...Up until this point, I have taught him every thing he knows. His father and I, as well as a few close relatives, are the only one's that have been filling his brain with the knowledge he has. The thought that some one else, other than US, will be relaying information in to my son's brain has me terrified. Maybe this sounds silly to some, or even most of you, but I had honestly thought about home schooling for the first 3 years of his life. Until I saw him interacting last summer with some friends of his and saw how much he truly enjoys [just like his father and I do] the act of communicating with others. He is such a gifted little boy, and has so much to say and so much on his mind, I know that he will greatly benefit from being around others his age.
With all of this being said.
Today.
He was playing with the neighbor girls, one is 6 and the other is 8.
Rafal saw them, the girls, throw one of Dylan's favorite toys in the pond in our backyard. Immediately afterwards Dylan had tears in his eyes as he approached daddy to tell him what happened, and the girls fled to their homes. As Rafal and Dylan came in to tell me what happened, just seeing my little man with a red face because he was upset was enough to upset me.
He told me: "my friends said my toy was haunted and they had to kill it"
Not only did this upset me because of their 'choice' words, seeing as I don't believe in such silliness, but to think he still considered them friends, even after what they did. I them explained to him as calmly as a mother bear is capable of, that people who mistreat you or your property are NOT friends, and are in fact far from it. I told him that I wanted to talk to the girls and that we needed to go over there and ask them what happened.
So we did.
They apologized.
Rafal retrieved the toy.
Cheeks were dried.
All was fine again in the Szmyglewski home.
UNTIL.
I had filled up Dylan's bath tub and went out back to tell him it was time for his friends to go home, and for him to come in and get ready for bed. As I walked out through the sun-room, I noticed he had tears on his face and these girls were chasing him around with some paper and making "spooky" sounds. He was holding himself like he had to pee and I said "Girls, you need to go home" I may have sounded like a B!TCH when I said it, and yes, I meant to. Dylan got upset and said I don't want my friends to leave, and I said "Come on girls, you can leave through the front door." They followed me to the door and they said their good-byes and I immediately grabbed Dylan and gave him a hug and asked what had happened in the back yard and why he hadn't come to get me. He said they were scaring him and chasing him and telling him the ghosts were after him. I tried my best to explain and tell him that he doesn't have to believe, let alone listen to any thing any of those girls have to say. They are silly girls and just having silly fun. They don't understand that it could be upsetting you. I told him not to listen to the stuff they say, and if he does and he has questions, he should come to mommy or daddy right away and we can better inform him about what ever it might be.
I calmed him down as best as mommy can and had him get in the bath tub and we dropped the conversation. After about an hour or so he started telling me other things that happened while they were playing.
For instance:
"When I told them I had to go home fast to go to the bathroom, they told me to pee in the bushes, and when I said I had to poop they said you can poop in the bushes too. But I didn't listen and I came home."
"My friends told me to stick my whole hand in the big bucket of dirty oil in the backyard, and when I said no they got mad, so I stuck my foot in it instead."
I was getting FURIOUS listening to these stories. I told Dylan that I don't want him playing with them anymore and that anyone is instructs you to do something unhealthy is FAR from a friend. I explained that when he starts school he is going to be faced with many challenges, including taking orders from people other than mommy and daddy and he is going to have to be a big boy a decide on his own the right thing to do. I told him that from now on when someone asks him to do ANY thing that mommy or daddy wouldn't ask him to do that he needs to say NO right away and then walk in the other direction. No matter what. I said that mommy and daddy love you so much, and only want the best for you. I told him that some people are going to be mean to him, and some people are going to tell him lies and make up bad stories, but that he has to try his hardest not to listen or believe what they say.
Now that he is asleep and I am replaying all of tonight's situations in my head I am saddened. I don't want our son to grow up scared of other people, but at the same time I want him to grow up cautious of the dangers that can lurk right around the corner.
So my fellow friends, please give me some insight. I am even more terrified about him starting school now than I was last week. The only thing that keeps me calm is knowing that he is smart enough to tell me what happened, rather than be afraid of being punished or being ashamed. I am so proud of him for coming to me to tell me what happened. That shows me just how mature and grown up he already is. My little baby is growing up.
