This whole being pregnant thing is for the birds, or the whales, because they float in the water all day and they don't even notice the weight gain in their anti-gravity chamber. I am jealous. I am so clumsy and absentminded these days. Not to mention, I can't sit up straight for too long, with out putting too much pressure on Maya and forcing her further down into my pelvic bones which is just painful. I can't lay on my right side at night without my legs falling asleep. I can't lay on my left side at night without my legs falling asleep. I can't physically fall asleep laying on my back, for obvious reasons. I just can't sleep at night. Then there's all of these recent hormonal mood swings again, I am not bitchy like I was in the early part of my pregnancy, I am very clingy. I am never THIS clingy. I mean, I just want Rafal home all day every day with me, and if he can't be here I am begging Dylan to snuggle me in bed. Dylan is so tired of mommy being "lame" lately, I can tell. He is such a good boy though, he doesn't tell me he doesn't like it, but I can just tell. He rubs my back, and snuggles me all the time, and I love it. Last night he said:
"Mommy, are you sad?"
"Yes, a little bud, I am."
"Why are you sad Mommy?"
"Well it is hard to explain, but you used to be my little baby and now your my big boy and there is going to be a new little baby in the house."
"I know! Maya is our little baby Mommy!"
"Your right, I am just sad that I am going to have to split time up with you two, for five years it has been me and you, we have been a team bud. Now we are adding someone else to our group."
"It's ok Mommy, Daddy will help too."
"I know, I love you both so much, I am so blessed."
My sweet boy, he knew I was sad, just from the expressions on my face I guess? I love him so much. I am going to write him a letter before baby Maya gets here and put it in our family box to give him one day. I am tearing up just thinking about it. He was my guardian angel when I needed one the most, and he always WILL be my little man, but you know... It is just going to be hard, and I don't want him to EVER think that mommy doesn't have time for him or doesn't want to be with just him. I hope we can go on many dates and just be mommy and Dylan some times. I love my little pickle monster. I love him so much.
36 Weeks 3 Days
It'll be ok he will love it when his sister comes and its not hard to share time with both when there is just two. While she small be able to have time with him while she sleeping. I had a gap between my 1st two and Seara loved it! She was ready for a sibling. She from a big family though. Every child is different. The'll be times when he might complain but thats just how it is. lol You all will be ok. xo Proud of you all love ya!
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